A Plague of Giants (Seven Kennings) by Hearne Kevin

Author:Hearne, Kevin [Hearne, Kevin]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9780345548603
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2017-10-17T04:00:00+00:00

I gave Madhep to Kalaad in the sky, but when it came to the soldiers, I looked to Tamhan with pleading eyes. He did it, giving them more respect than they had given us, and then we moved our camp. The tired kids got on the horses, and we hiked a couple of miles in the darkness before stopping once more for the night. One of them noticed aloud that she hadn’t been bitten or even harassed by a single insect since she’d been in my company, and once she said that, the others realized that it was true for them as well. This small relief from a lifelong source of annoyance impressed them, I think, even more than summoning the swarms. Causing bugs to bite was not that big a deal to them. Preventing bugs from biting, though? That was miraculous.

It was wearying to pretend I was comfortable in a congregation of strangers. They all had been recruited by Tamhan, and to be honest with myself, even he was familiar only by the grace of a single day. I had known of him for a long time, but we hadn’t really spoken until the day before, and though we got along well, he also got along well with everyone, and I couldn’t assume that he felt closer to me than any of the Seekers. Because Tamhan looked to me, and I suppose because I was the one with the kenning, they all looked to me to lead them when what I wished for the most was to walk off alone and give my frustration and regret its proper voice and time. I saw in their eyes that they carried a set of expectations in their field bags that I couldn’t fulfill. I couldn’t make their lives better. All I could do was lead them to the nughobe grove and hope that at least one of them would be blessed.

The fear growing in my chest was that they might all die. In the eyes of the authorities of Khul Bashab, I would be responsible for killing all these kids. And I’d be responsible for the soldiers’ deaths and Madhep’s as well: authorities never take responsibility for their misconduct.

I already felt responsible for those men, and it was a heavy burden in my mind on top of all the others, one I would have to carry for a long time. I might have doomed all chance of being accepted or even allowed to exist by the government with a single uncontrolled flare of my temper. That one unguarded reaction might prevent me from doing so much good.

There are healers I know, for example, who believe that insects can spread disease. If that is a truth and I can stop insects from biting, then think how many lives I could save if only I was allowed. Would that not in time make up for the lives I took?

But already I see no path by which I can be forgiven for what happened.

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